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Turning the Tables

June 27, 2010

Tables: they’re not just for drunk girls to dance on anymore!  Or ideally, at all, if the “Percolator” girl has taught me anything.  Truth be told, it’s a topic I never imagined I’d be blogging about either, but here we are.

I’ve been to a few weddings, and from what I’ve observed, they serve an entirely different function.  People sit at them.  In chairs.  And they eat.  That’s an entirely foreign concept to me, as Kevin Hellions and I are the masters of folding trays in our home.  We have a dining room table, but it is sorely neglected.

Not only do we provide our wedding guests with these tables, but we get to tell guests which table to sit at!  We are powerful, the bride and bridegroom.  This power of ours can be exercised simply.  A guest finds a card with his or her name and table on it, as follows: Guesty McGuest – Table 1, Guestette Guesterton – Table 3, and so on.  But could Mr. Hellions and I possible keep things so simple at our book themed wedding?  Not likely.

We have opted to name each table after an author.  This has become a fun process of its own.  I have a few required writers:

  • Neil Gaiman
  • Margaret Atwood
  • Shakespeare

Mr. Hellions hasn’t weighed in on it, but I’m sure he’ll have a couple required authors of his own.  I assume a few comic writers, like Alan Moore or Gail Simone.  There are some prerequisites for an author to be included: the writer must be somewhat prolific, the writer’s work can’t be too exclusively dark or horrific, and above all, Kevin Hellions and I have to like the writer.  Anne Rice and Stephen King are prolific all right, but they lack the substance I’m looking for.  Edgar Allen Poe just isn’t wedding material.  Stephanie Meyer can check her Twilight series (and self) at the door.  We’re not exactly classy, but we do have our standards.

How shall we direct guests to these author dubbed tables?  One option is to print the list of guests and tables and tape it into a book, but it seems like that could really congest traffic on the way into the reception.

Another neat idea I had was a little card catalogue — let me back up a little.  Libraries used to have a system called a “card catalogue”.  Instead of using a computer, you would look through little drawers with authors, titles and subjects arranged alphabetically to find the call numbers for a book.  Neat, huh?  I think that would be cool, but it requires finding and buying the little drawers.  Still not out of the question.

This is how we did things when I was young.

My last idea, probably the most budget friendly of what we’ve come up with so far is to make a poster sized Table of Contents with the guests and which author they will be directed to.  Table of Contents?  Yeah?  Mr. Hellions suggested we use this idea for the menu.  Do you make menus when you’re providing a buffet?  I don’t really know the protocol for that.  If so, we could use the same idea and make it the Index.  These are usually done alphabetically, so that does have a logic.

Those are our current table thoughts.  As always, I’m open to suggestions or opinions!  And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!  NerdNuptial.  Singular.  See you there!

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Mama Bear permalink
    June 30, 2010 2:43 pm

    Ummm…Leesy… I remember card catalogues very well. And… ummm… as I recall the last time I went to a library (you were still in high school) you needed to help me find books with the computer that was foreign to me at the time. And I remember being very impressed by a library card that resembled a credit card. My library card befor that was cardboard with lines on it…hahaha… I believe I just dated myself.


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